Showing posts with label dork. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dork. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Dork Knights #25 - Gotham Is Yours!



In which The Dimwitted Duo once again give into their deepest Dark Knight related desires and mull over the prospect of the most unholy abomination imaginable - a Batman movie helmed by The Dork Knights themselves! From their discovery of being eachother's alternate personality to an unorthodox pitch involving sex, cameras, and shame, listen to the tale of a troubled production from it's beginning to it's end, featuring sassy black sidekicks, catering to the mentally challenged, a movie within a movie within a coke-fueled dream, out-Schumachering Schumacher, the curse of Were-Brando, and perhaps the most amazing debut of all: Jetpack Vigoda. It's called Dork Knights for a reason!

THE DORK KNIGHT... LOSING HIS HEAD?

THE BYRD WONDER... FILLED WITH DREAD?


IS THERE ANYTHING MORE THAT NEEDS TO BE SAID?!

Tune in to find out!

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Dork Knights #24 - Let The Games Begin!


In which The Dimwitted Duo force feed themselves a fistful of snow and jump out of a plane with shrapnel in their lungs, as they embark on yet another harrowing round of everyone's favorite fictional fistfight... Historical Fight Club!


Who Will Win? Who Will Lose? Who Will Get An Exploding Bullet To The Face?!

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Dork Knights #23 - You've Changed Things... Forever


In which The Dimwitted Duo jump across the multiverse and take a look into alternate realities, where they consider everything from Batman as a sobbing idiot to Superman as an Amish pastor, the stretching of underused loins, the secret horrible purpose of the podcast, the terror of holiness, and the full circle of President Captain America. Iron Man has what kind of disorder?!

THE BYRD WONDER... REBORN AS A MIME?

THE DORK KNIGHT... CAN'T THINK OF A RHYME?

WILL EITHER OF THEM MANAGE TO FINISH IN TIME?!

Monday, October 1, 2012

Dork Knights #22 - There's No Going Back


In which The Dimwitted Duo return from a self-imposed exile of eight years to deliver something that wasn't worth the wait - a discussion of movie remakes! From the unlikeliest front door greeting one could imagine, to Teddy Roosevelt in a bear suit and the Presidential 80's cop movie, all the way down to rantings over the most infamous set of prequels in cinematic history, The Dork Knights ask themselves the all-important question: Why the hell aren't they in Hollywood?

THE BYRD WONDER... MAKING THE PREQUEL?

THE DORK KNIGHT... WAITING FOR THE SEQUEL?

HAVE THE JAWS OF FATE ENSNARED OUR HEROES?!

Tune in to find out!

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Dork Knights #21 - Look At Me!


In which The Dimwitted Duo is back to buisness as usual. Except that it isn't, as the duo briefly becomes a trio! Bringing along a special guest, MB and Byrd are treated to something no one would have expected as they sit through a detailed review of a movie so shocking, and so vile, that it may or may not feature C-list comic book characters. From the most legitimately disturbing scene you'll ever hear described from a porno, and the creation of the bizarre continuity, to offense being taken at a cure for all known diseases, Below The Bible Belt's James Lewis - a.k.a Hero, joins The Dork Knights for a special episode that requires the combined effort of three to properly pull off. It starts with a flashback of what?!

THE DORK KNIGHT... HIT A SNAG?!

THE BYRD WONDER... ON THE RAG?!

THE BANEFUL HERO FORCED TO SHAG?!

Tune in to find out!

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And don't forget to listen to Below The Bible Belt, featuring Hero and Byrd - now on iTunes! Southern Hospitality, delivered monthly.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Dork Knights #20 - I'm Just Ahead Of The Curve


In which The Dimwitted Duo return! After taking a sabbatical following their harrowing month-long chat about all things Batman, The Dork Knights are back in action and just as moronic as ever. To celebrate the occasion, it's that time once again... for Historical Fight Club!


Who Will Win? Who Will Lose? Whose Horse Will Get The Upper Hand?!

Sunday, July 1, 2012

BATMONTH #1 - But What Is Batman?



Holy heart failures! Starting this podcast, the amazing and unique adventures of The Batman, as told by The Dork Knights themselves! Discover both who they are and how they came to be, revealing some of their time as children growing up with a deep affection for The Caped Crusader while discussing many ongoing debates that have helped shaped the legend for over seventy years. Along the way in these coveted topics, startling revealations are revealed - like what would drive a four-year old boy to contemplate having his own parents murdered, love at first eyehole, mourning the loss of a VHS tape, and vengeance by way of prep-time. It's over an hour of Bat-a-clismic proportions!

Monday, June 25, 2012

Dork Knights #19 - I Hate When People Talk During The Movie!


In which The Dimwitted Duo get all cinematical up in this bitch, and discuss their favorite films. From favorite genres to favorite directors, with a few shocking - and some not so shocking - admissions through their collective thoughts on the medium, the antics start whenever the two just barely manage to properly begin, make it clear that nobody wants to be Roeper, discover the real reasoning behind the plot of The Terminator, note a politically incorrect movie as one of their all-time favorites, cop to being complete pussies when it comes to the water, entertain the idea of Star of David throwing stars, and introduce a completely racist new character. Clarence! You know who smells like grease?!

THE BYRD WONDER... ON TRIAL?

THE DORK KNIGHT... IN DENIAL?


WHICH OF OUR HEROES IS SPEWING BILE?!

Tune in to find out!

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Dork Knights #18 - So Many People To Kill, So Little Time


In which The Dimwitted Duo presents the next exciting round of Historical Fight Club...


Who will win? Who will lose? Who will use the other as a human shield?!

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Dork Knights #16 - Monkey Work!



In which The Dimwitted Duo give time updates on the hour, as they venture into territory unknown: early morning madness! Listen to the bouts of insanity that are the pair's first experiences with roleplaying - and no, not the sexual kind - as they recount tripping balls as 12 year-olds, calling upon creepy Robin tangents, brief considerations of LARPing and the scourge of The Black Knight, the most unlikely Star Wars character ever invented, what constitutes as a furry, and the creation of one of the greatest modern characters in fiction: A 14 Year-Old Psychic Werewolf Wizard Bounty Hunter Hawk Assassin. The safety word is "Schumacher".

THE BYRD WONDER... GLORIFIED?

THE DORK KNIGHT... SATISFIED?

HAVE OUR HEROES GIVEN INTO DARKER DESIRES?!

Tune in to find out!

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Dork Knights #13 - Or Should I Say... Terminated?



In which The Dimwitted Duo get crank-called by the Governor and suffer being put to death for multiple electrocutions, as one podcaster tells a long-awaited tale of the afternoon that he witnessed a man be put to death by the state of Georgia. Listen to the two try to make light of a truly serious subject, as they discuss the mystery of the prison waiting room, alligators at the gate, inappropriate last requests, the struggles of real-life Transformers, Knights of Whiteness, the founding of America: The Planet, and just what sort of convienience store houses mysterious, black tied time-travellers. How the hell are they carrying those guns?!

THE BYRD WONDER... LATE TO THE GAME?

THE DORK KNIGHT... STILL AS LAME?

CAN OUR HEROES SPIN A YARN THAT'S SUITABLY TAME?!

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Dork Knights #12 - ...Riddle Me That


In which the Dimwitted Duo enter the rematch of a century in this special epic-length episode, as they look to settle old scores - ones that are relatively one week old. Listen in awe and wonderment as the Dork Knight and the Byrd Wonder clash for a second time in battle of trivial supremacy, stumbling through every step of the way and further proving their own ineptitude in mental prowess! Ladies and gentlemen, Dorkfall has begun. Hide your women, children, and local minorities. 

THE BYRD WONDER... OUT FOR REVENGE?

THE DORK KNIGHT... OUT ON A BINGE?

ON WHICH MORTAL COIL DOES THIS BATTLE HINGE?!

Tune in to find out!

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Dork Knights #11 - Riddle Me This...


In which The Dimwitted Duo embark on a test of wits that will surely end horribly - deciding to prove how dimwitted they truly are with a trivia quiz! Listen as The Dork Knight unwittingly plays right into The Byrd Wonder's hands, only to turn the tables and up the stakes to a magnitude unseen! Plus, following the shenanigans, hear the struggles to keep the show afloat that somehow involve the first Prime Minister of America, Alex Trebek's missing facial hair, and continuous, vengeful bouts of the F-bomb. Who will win? Who will lose? Who will be betrayed by being offered to Satan as a sacrificial lamb? Only Zombie-Werewolf Kim Jong Ill knows.

THE BYRD WONDER... HARDBALLED?

THE DORK KNIGHT... SOFTBALLED?


WHO WILL DOMINATE THE DAY?!

Tune in to find out!

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Dork Knights #10 - You're Overpaid, Hit The Road!


In which The Dimwitted Duo make their glorious return, in a jam-packed episode that is sure to be infamous in both it's levels of depravity and horrifying scenarios. Embarking on a tour de force, The Dork Knight and The Byrd Wonder ask themselves what the world would be like if they worked together - and the results are just as ridiculous as the next. From the creation of The McByrd and snapping the neck of a giraffe, to the most unlikely basketball play in history and the use of ice skates as a deadly weapon, this episode has everything you could ever need - and alot that you'd never want. White For Life!

THE BYRD WONDER... TURNED SABETOUR?

THE DORK KNIGHT... MORTIFIED FOR SURE?

WILL OUR HEROES RECOVER FROM THIS DEVASTATING BLOW?!

Tune in to find out!

Friday, March 9, 2012

Dork Knights #9 - He Didn't Even Lose A Limb!



In which the Dimwitted Duo once again ponder what it would take to win in a battle of two historical figures, forgoing the approach of evil vs. evil and instead matching up crazy vs. crazy, pairing might with right and awesome against awesomeness. It's a duel to the death, and The Dork Knights are making it a recurring theme! Whoever wins, we lose. Bully!

THE BYRD WONDER... LEFT FOR DEAD?

THE DORK KNIGHT... GUNNING FOR HEADS?

IS THIS THE BITTER END FOR OUR HEROES?

Tune in to find out!

Friday, March 2, 2012

Dork Knights #8 - I Saw Her First. Gotta Fly!


In which the Dimwitted Duo momentarily become a trio, as the Dork Knight and Byrd Wonder are graced with the prescence by a member of the opposite sex to discuss a bit of everything. From fake fakin' it with a pillow and the threat that multiple chins present, to the harrowing tale of one podcaster's visit to the local courthouse and a chance encounter with a judge who doesn't want you to make him angry. You wouldn't like him when he's angry. Plus, in a stunning turn of events, all three of this week's Knights individually admit to crimes committed!

AN EPISODE SO JAM-PACKED, WE COULDN'T EVEN THINK OF A CLIFFHANGER!

WHAT DASTARDLY PERILS AWAIT OUR HEROES THIS TIME?


Tune in to find out!

Friday, February 24, 2012

Dork Knights #7 - Rats With Wings, Do Your Thing!



In which the Dimwitted Duo take the time to get serious and start to talk shop. Comic shop, that is, as they commit mass genocide against Sky City, challenge the unknown, prepare to face the court, and terrorize the open roadways while wearing sheets. Plus, the debut of a brand new theme by the same fancy gentleman who brought you the opening of DK's sister podcast, Pulp Nightmare!

THE DORK KNIGHT... IRREDEEMABLE?

THE BYRD WONDER... INCORRUPTIBLE?

TO WHAT DEPTHS OF MADNESS HAVE OUR HEROES PLUNGED?!

Tune in to find out!